


falling fast, breathing slow

by irwah



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 2014 verse, Idiots in Love, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, hand holding, tattoo parlour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 06:39:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15813507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irwah/pseuds/irwah
Summary: It’s just a natural way to comfort someone in need, Calum thinks, he’s not an animal and Ashton clearly needs some kind of physical support as well as moral. And it’s like, totally normal to hold someone’s hand as they get a tattoo. Calum’s just being normal.or: Ashton gets a tally tattoo, Calum holds his hand and they definitely look like a couple





	falling fast, breathing slow

**Author's Note:**

> I read [this tumblr post](http://penroseparticle.tumblr.com/post/177245309147/so-i-just-went-with-my-buddy-while-he-got-a-rib) and it just screamed cashton at me, shoutout to @thesaltyspice for shouting at me about it
> 
> I have multiple wips so naturally I dropped them all and wrote this in an afternoon 
> 
> Ashton’s tattoo and 2014 cashton is so important to me and also I’m moving to Newcastle next month so I was like doubly excited about writing this fic
> 
> I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR THIS WRITING TO BE RE-POSTED ANYWHERE. (stop fucking reposting my fics you wankers)

Just standing next to Ashton, Calum can tell he is nervous as fuck. The boy doesn’t normally show any form of weakness - he prides himself on his ability to talk himself up to any situation, reminding himself how strong he is and how everything is temporary. He has kept the band together over the years, during this long long tour with One D and Calum marvels at his strength. Along with other things.

But this, this is different, this is Calum’s territory. He’s been in a tattoo parlour plenty of times, the first time when he was 15 and got that fucking awful lip ring that he took out a week later. He loves stepping through the door, hearing the sound of the guns and the faint rock music playing in the background.

They’ve come on a whim, spending the day in Newcastle exploring and drinking and banding, how they do best. Amazingly, it was actually Luke’s idea, going to get tattoos together. He and Ashton drunkenly discussed getting tallies late last night, between jagerbombs courtesy of Harry Styles and his shining credit card.

But lo and behold, Luke laughed in Ashton’s face the next day when he seriously suggested they google tattoo parlours. Ashton pouted, disappointed.

And, well, Calum’s always been a sucker for Ashton’s pout. And so, they’re here, in the best rated tattoo parlour on Google in Newcastle, sat down in leather seats, describing tattoos. Calum lets Ashton go first, has to give him a little nudge to encourage him to speak.

The artist, Chris, sketches as Ashton explains and pipes in occasionally, suggesting size and placement. The simple tally design is gorgeous, it’s understated and it suits Ashton so well.

“It’s perfect,” Ashton says, smiling up at Calum, eyes twinkling.

“And you’re sure the outside of the wrist is where you want it?”

Ashton nods, certain. “Want it visible when I’m drumming.”

“Cool.” Is Chris’ response, printing different sizes of the tally to hold up against Ashton’s wrist.

Calum’s not sure if he recognises the boys, he doesn’t mention anything about them or their band and Calum is happy about the anonymity, for once. He nods towards Calum. “And you?” 

“I’ve got a design ready.” He shows Chris a photo on his phone and Chris nods, not questioning the anything about it. Calum likes that about him, he’s a simple guy.

Ashton’s gone very quiet and Calum doesn’t like it. He’s always one to fill pregnant silences and normally his silence means he’s unhappy. Calum glances at him, and Ashton meets his eyes. A smile forms on his lips as Calum grabs his shoulder, shaking him.

“I’m buzzed for you, mate.”

  
And that makes Ashton giggle, shaking his shoulders to join Calum. The brown boy joins in the laughter as Chris leads them through into the room. Ashton tenses up again as they see the chair and all of the equipment but Calum places his arm around him, giving him a little squeeze. It’s a cuddle that says  _ I’m here _ and  _ don’t worry,  _ but also other unspoken things about unconditional love and friendship that they never say out loud but they know.

Ashton sits down in the chair and Chris asks him to place his arm on the table. It’s an awkward position and they all laugh at Ashton’s strangely bent arm.

Calum knows this part is the worst, knows the tension and the expectation has adrenaline pumping. To be fair, Ashton is taking it like a champ, breathing easily and trying not to frown too much.

The whirring of the machine starts and Ashton looks away, glancing at Calum. Calum can see the moment it starts through Ashton’s facial expression, a wince that he quickly tries to cover up.

“Okay?” Chris says, checking in. He’s a great guy with an amazingly calm manner, Calum thinks, already planning the review he’s going to write on the company’s facebook page. 

Ashton nods. “It’s actually not too ba-” He cuts himself off with a slight whimper and it’s Calum’s knee-jerk reaction to grab his free hand.

It’s just a natural way to comfort someone in need, Calum thinks, he’s not an animal and Ashton clearly needs some kind of physical support as well as moral. And it’s like, totally normal to hold someone’s hand as they get a tattoo. Calum’s just being normal.

He starts speaking to Ashton, trying to distract him from the pain. He gossips about Michael and Harry and the girl Luke got with last night. He asks Ashton who he thinks will win MVP of the Where We Are Tour and laughs when Ashton rolls his eyes at him. Calum’s a good friend, he thinks, he knows just how to distract his best friend.

Ashton smiles at him, adjusting their fingers until they’re linked together in a totally non-platonic way. And Calum feels his heart-rate pick up, but it’s all still  _ totally _ normal.

Calum unlocks and relocks his phone in his hand, not really checking it but just as something to do so he can stop staring into Ashton’s eyes like a lovesick fool. He feels Chris glance at his lock screen, his eyes flicking between the photo of Ashton and their linked hands.

And to give Calum some credit, the photos is only his background coz Ashton took it on Calum’s phone yesterday during a photoshoot and set it as his background when he went to the toilet. Calum hasn’t had any time to change it, he tells himself. It’s nothing to do with how cute Ashton looks in it. Or the smile it brings to his face every time he checks his phone.

Nope, nothing to do with that.

Calum watches the thought form in Chris’ head, glimpsing between the hands and the photo. Calum is about to say something, laugh and make some joke about #nohomo but Chris speaks first.

His tone is nonchalant, deliberately calm. “So, are you two close?”

And Calum is suddenly speechless, unsure really how to word his response. He’s thinking of how to say ‘no we’re not a couple but I kinda wish we were’ in fewer words when Ashton speaks, completely oblivious to the previous events.

“‘Course we’re close. That’s why he’s here holding my hand.” He grins, eyes twinkling as they meet Calum’s and to be honest, Calum kinda wants to die.

Ashton has no idea what he’s just suggested and Calum can see Chris nodding, understanding that he was right, they’re a couple. He smiles. “Cool.”

And this is anything but cool. Ashton’s sat in a chair, fingers linked with Calum’s, smiling at him like an  _ idiot, _ and has just confirmed to a stranger that they’re dating. So, what’s Calum meant to say to that?

Should he correct Chris? Tell him Ashton misunderstood the question and that they’re just bros? Just two guys who spend every waking minute together? 

Should he tell Ashton what it sounded like? Laugh it off and retract his hand, pretend he’s getting cramp?

Should he go along with it? Smile fondly down at Ashton and maybe even give him a kiss on the cheek when the tattoo is finished? Tell him he’s proud of him?

Instead, he just sits there like a fool, holding on to Ashton’s hand like the world depends on it. Which - what a metaphor.

When the tattoo is finished and Calum’s hand feels empty without Ashton’s fingers laced with his, Ashton gets some water out of his backpack. He gulps down half and then passes the bottle to Calum. They share drinks all the time, all four of them constantly stealing each others’ pints and mugs and cans, it’s really not a big deal for Calum.

But Chris happens to look up as Calum takes a sip, and suddenly Calum’s garbage lizard brain can’t think anything but  _ sharing saliva sharing saliva sharing saliva _ and he nearly chokes on his drink at the realisation this is totally reinforcing the incorrect concept of them being a couple.

Ashton’s voice shakes him out of his ridiculous thoughts. “Guess I have to hold your hand during yours?” He says it in a teasing tone but Calum can sense the sincerity, knows Ashton would actually comfort him if he needed him to.

Chris grabs Calum’s design from the side and starts measuring it up. He speaks so offhand it throws Calum completely.

“Well, I should hope so.”

Ashton nods, never one to turn down a chance to prove himself as a good friend. Calum sits down in the chair and before Chris has even turned on the machine, Ashton reaches for his hand.

Calum’s never needed to hold someone’s hand before, the pain is always completely bearable and this time is no different. The needle feels like a gentle scratch against his skin, so light it almost tickles.

But, for the first time, he lets Ashton hold his hand. Maybe he’ll start bringing him to all of his tattoo appointments.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, I’m cashtontrash through and through
> 
> D xxx


End file.
